Jonah Magnus thrives on knowing more than others and using that knowledge to his advantage, he is almost always two steps ahead and even when he isn't he can still turn that to his advantage. This is something that defines him both as a character and as a person. Which is why so many jokes making fun of him have him not know things, causing him to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Those jokes rarely if ever make sense because there are so little things Jonah doesn't know about and to get him to not know something is a complicated, convoluted process. Which is fine, but I am a miserable boring asshole who prefers character hate to be canon compliant or at least make sense

Another common thing is the idea of the Eye not telling Jonah things "for funsies". The Eye isn't sentient enough to have a sense of humour and judging by the way it doesn't let Jon Know things about Jonah in s4, has no interest in making Jonah's life harder. Jonah is also just better than Jon at Knowing things intentionally because he has been doing it for so much longer

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My favorite Jonathon Sims headcanon is that he asks for black coffee or very little sugar in his tea then adds heaps of sugar to it when nobody is looking. It aligns so much with his character in the early seasons (trying way too hard to appear professional) and is honestly just fucking hilarious to imagine. Also, Martin 100% noticed this at some point and always makes his tea very sweet.

Victims of Other Entities: And so I watched the creature that used to be my wife sprint towards me on all fours with its neck bent at a full 180 degree angle. I only got away because it tripped and fell into the lit fireplace and turned to ash immediately. I don’t sleep anymore and I honestly wish God just would kill me already.

Victims of The Buried: God I ffucnking LOVE Dirt. OOh Boy that Shit is GOOD. No Thing on this God Forsaken planet brings me more EUPHORIA than Digging a B I G Hole. I crawl on all fours and c l a w at the e a r th as I pine for its tender Embrace. It torments my VERY SOUL that I cannot simply i n h a l e it Straight Into My Bloodstream. I’ve decided that eating fistfuls of potting soil is the next best thing.

Hello, Thor. Apologies for the deception, but I rather wanted to ensure this train was departing.

do we think martin and jon have ever like actually had a conversation about ANY of the stuff that's happened to them because like man i think not. they literally found out half the stuff they know about eachother through snooping on old tape recorders imagine that being the basis of your relationship....

honestly slept on how much martin's attitude in relationships is clearly shaped by his mother and it makes him awful in them but fandom doesn't wanna talk about it because jmart cute 🥀🥀

laurels chapter 6! it exists, with the help of my new little buddy (picture will be attached in reblog)

hi to the people on my taglist. as ever please do tell me if you want to be on/off it. regardless of if we're mutuals or anything! @thswrtchdthng, @beheldandcompelled, @jonahfagnus, @girlboy-frankensteins-monster, @klm-zoflorr

I can’t imagine Elias had any good ideas for getting Jon marked by The Slaughter. Like, Melanie appearing was total coincidence, and if that hadn’t happened, then what?

I can’t stop imagining Elias sitting in front of his computer, head in hand, SERIOUSLY considering “should I enlist Jon in the army…?” just super stressed out, trying to weigh the pros and cons of sending his pathetic little archivist straight out onto the front lines.

Coming into Jon’s office one day and just being like “Jonathan, hey, so like, I need you to go to war for me real quick, it’ll just be a sec” ???

It would be SUCH a hard Fear to intentionally mark Jon with, thank god the lesbian made it so much easier.

its crazy how much jmart actually ruined tma for me. should not be allowed to claim that a relationship is "not going to be explicitly romantic" and then make it explicitly romantic anyways WITHOUT WARNING. like i understand if you changed the plan or whatever, but please, for the love of FUCK, spare a thought or two for romance repulsed aromantics who thought this podcast was gonna be safe for them, y'know, because of what you literally said before

walking down some stairs? Pressing the 1 button on an elevator? Going to the basement to do some laundry?

no.

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